23 of the funniest tweets I could find that had something to do with food. Bon Apetit!
but mom, we ate pray love yesterday
— F R O V O (@fro_vo) November 7, 2015
Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food — Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) June 26, 2014
My wife just nominated me for the “would it kill you to refill the ice trays every once in a while” challenge?
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) August 27, 2014
“Sorry dude. I missed again. Cool cup though.” – refrigerator ice dispensers — Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) May 19, 2014
COOKING HACK: if you put too much water in your rice, toss a few phones in there pic.twitter.com/hKNFpmfwAp
— Ben Cohen (@UniqueDude2) September 4, 2015
I can’t turn water into wine, but I can turn ice cream into breakfast. — Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) June 25, 2012
[ordering cake over phone] “and what would you like the cake to say?” [covers phone to ask wife] “do we want a talking cake?”
— k e e t (@KeetPotato) June 8, 2015
INTERESTING FACT: The song “Hurt So Good” was written after John Mellencamp ate too much delicious Mexican food. — Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 2, 2014
What’s a 27-letter word for “Corn”? pic.twitter.com/lAyu5kKAEC
— Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) August 22, 2014
Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy — Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 4, 2015
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) January 7, 2014
Ya know, buddy, it’s like I always say, sometimes you gotta twirl the fork the other direction to get the noodles to wrap better. — Lady (@ladybroseph) September 7, 2014
why are they talking about diets on the news ohh this is the lo cal news
— F R O V O (@fro_vo) September 22, 2014
Me: honey, wake up Wife: what Me: cool beans are bad but people say it to mean a-ok Wife: go to sleep Me: I am trying to but the beans
— Ben Cohen (@UniqueDude2) March 3, 2015
her: what do u do for a living me: im a sandwich artist her: oh so u work at subway me: omg i wish [holds up sketch of a bacon avocado melt] — chuuch (@ch000ch) July 26, 2015
You know you’re getting older when you throw out your back while buttering scones.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 24, 2011
How much fast food do I need to eat before I’m fast? — Elizabeth is Ruined (@Elizasoul80) April 11, 2015
Microwaves are like winter coats. They warm quick, people never clean them and they look ugly after a year.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 23, 2011
I can’t help but notice that the Ninja Turtles never wash their hands before eating pizza in the sewer. — Pause (@Pausedesigns) February 8, 2015
“Do you have Coke” No, is Pepsi okay “Do you have updog” What’s updog “Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay”
— BeardSpice (@BeardSpice) September 30, 2014
[finishes frying beans] “I really should fry these again.”
— Snarls (@TheSnarls) January 15, 2015
More laughs within ONE minute (or your money back) at my painstakingly curated funny twitter lists…
The Funny List – These guys are funny a lot of the time. Sometimes they impress me so much that they graduate to the next level…
The Funniest List – These cats are so consistent… well, you could insert a funny joke about consistency if you knew a good one. Hey, I never said I was funny… I’m just a dang fine collector of funny tweeters. See for yourself.
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